In the depths

I wandered the hills a long time, though I am not quite sure why. I was drawn to them. As child I looked at them with trepidation and fear. As a man I looked at them with curiosity. And now I wandered them.

I don’t recall what made me leave my home for these hills. Now it seems I’ve been here so long that I can’t remember anything else. Now and again I can picture a face, but I don’t recall who’s face it is.

I see travelers come and go, but I only see them at a distance, never venturing close enough to guide them or talk. They always seem so afraid, and though I wish to comfort them and tell them it is safe I do not. I watch them during the day traveling as though the land is cursed.

At night I wander the forest alone, but alas I am always alone these days. I do not fear the hills any longer. I fear my old home now, it holds a terror I have forgotten, and I fear that some day I will remember it.

One day I wandered close to the road. I could not fight my curiosity this time. I saw travelers moving up the road. I came close enough that they could see me, but none turned their heads, none but a little girl that is. She smiled at me. Her face looked familiar, or the innocence of it did anyways. A child, I remember one like her before. Her mother held her hand as they walked but did not look my way.

They passed quickly as many before them had. But her face stayed with me, what was it I had forgotten? I could not remember, and though I knew I shouldn’t try I did. What was it I left behind so many years ago? Why did I leave? I could not remember. I took to the heart of the forest in search of the king. He was the one to whom I looked for answers, though not for a long time since I had avoided them for so long.


The journey to the heart of the forest was one I avoided when I could. There was darkness here even in the middle of the day, and though I did not fear the darkness I was always happy when the day came nonetheless. It took me more time then normal to get to him, my thoughts distracted me often and I found that I had quite often lost my way off the trail.

When I found the heart, the glade where the king resided he was gone. I could not tell if it was day or night, so I waited. I sat on a nearby log with my thoughts. It seemed not too long before he arrived with his guards. They did not fear me, for they knew I was his friend. I did not press him right away, but waited for him to sit on his throne first and bid me forward. Where had the throne been before? Or maybe it was there all along and my thoughts had distracted me too much.

He bade me come forward. I knelt before him, “Oh great king, my thoughts have troubled me lately.” He leaned his head forward leaning his chin in his hand. “Tell me of your troubles my friend.” I told him about the questions I had, and the little girl. “My friend, you forget so easily. You have been here so many times before, but just as I told you the time before so shall I tell you again. The answers you seek are not in the hills, they are not in the forest, but in the only place you ever called home. Seek it, and the answers you will find.” He leaned back and I knew my time was up.

What did he mean about me forgetting? It seemed he answered my questions with more questions. And yet I knew I could not ask him any more. He had already made time for me and I did not wish to anger him. So I took his advice and left the forest that night, heading down to the place I thought I called home once. It was a long ponderous journey. I had my thoughts as company as I always did.

I journeyed down the hills I knew so well. I found a river, the shimmer of the moonlight seemed familiar, and so I followed it. I found a tree some miles ahead. This too seemed familiar. It sat there alone on the bank of the river, this tree is like me I thought. Then, on the horizon I saw a barn. I made for it, not caring what hour of the night it was, though dawn must be near.

It was a simple farm, one left neglected for some time from the looks of it. I pushed the door open, it creaked so loudly I jumped. The house was full of dust and cobwebs. Nobody could have lived here for a long while. I did not remember any of this. I searched all the rooms and found nothing. I decided to go to the barn. It too had long since been abandoned.

I found nothing of note, only just then I heard a cry from the corner. I followed the sound to a stable. Between a wall and the hay sat a young girl, curled up in a ball crying with her face hidden in her arms. “Why do you cry?” I asked, but she did not answer. “Where are your parents?” I asked her, wanting to help, but still she did not answer. I knelt next to her. “What is your name?” She raised her head looking behind me. That face, that face looked so familiar. She looked terrified and screamed, “Nooo father help me please. Don’t let them hurt me!”

Just then I heard a noise outside the barn and instinctively hid behind the wall with the girl. I heard a raspy voice, “Search the barn.” The girl began to cry, “It’s ok, just keep quiet and we’ll be ok.” I was afraid for the first time in as long as I could remember. I heard the barn doors open, it sounded as though several men were searching through the hay. One finally came around the corner, “Here she is” he said. He reached down and grabbed the girl as she screamed, I tried to hold on to her but I could not do so. They ignored me for some reason, “No, leave her alone” I screamed. They ignored me and dragged her out of the barn by her hair.

I followed them staggering along with fear. “Leave her alone, what has she done to deserve this?” They did not answer again, could no one hear me? A man in a dark cloak, the one with the raspy voice spoke, “good, lets take her to the town quickly and get this done with. If we’re lucky we will be rid of her by tonight.”


I followed, this all seems so familiar I thought to myself. It was like a nightmare of déjà vu. They tied her hands and had her walk along beside their horses. A road ran near the barn, I must have missed it before. They followed this road for some time. I had to run to keep up with them and still fell behind just before they reached a small town.

There were many awake in the town. As the girl was brought in they all seemed to have a look of disgust on their faces, some threw rocks. What has she done to deserve this? I followed the men and the girl to the largest house. “What are you doing with her?” I asked out loud. The raspy man answered, though he did not look at me. “She has done great evil, and now she will pay.” Great evil? “What great evil?” He did not answer, but rather dragged her by her hair into the large house.

I followed in. This house was not really a house at all, but more like a church. It was one large room with lots of seats where sat many people with solemn looks on their faces. The seat highest among them sat empty. Many people murmured. One conversation caught my attention. A large man leaned towards another man with not so quiet whispers. “I don’t know if he’ll go through with it, but I hear the king has given him the authority to do as he sees fit” The second man stared forward. “I know what I would do if it was me.” They both seemed ready to condemn this girl.

I could not help myself, “What evil has she done?” I asked again, but could not be heard over the whispers. “What evil has she..” but I caught off guard. All those present were at once quiet and rose from their seats. I could not see why until a man passed me heading towards the highest chair. The girl was in the corner facing the men in the congregation. The man stared at her, unable to see his face I could not make out his face, but knew it was serious. The little girl cried without any control. She began to speak but was immediately cut off by the man “let the proceeding begin” he said.

He turned and sat in the chair. I knew this man. The horror I knew hit me all at once. A man on the front row rose “We have evidence against the accused, such that she has done witchcraft. We have already presented evidence on this matter but had yet to apprehend the girl. Will the witnesses point at the witch.” Several people rose and pointed at the girl. “We rest our case on this evidence, it is now up to you my liege to do justice as you see fit.” The last few words rang with bitterness. All the faces looked upon him, on me.

My hand rested in my hand, I knew what I must do, but did I? The kind had given me power in this matter. “Don’t do it! Don’t do it” I said from the back of the room, “DON’T DO IT!” I yelled as though I could be heard. I rose from the chair, hesitated a second, “Having such weighty evidence, and with this despicable crime having been committed, this girl is sentenced to .. to” I paused. There’s still a chance, don’t do it. I screamed inside my head. I breathed a deep breath and finished, “death.”
There were many cheers from the crowd. The once quiet group now turned into a mob. I sobbed from the back of the room, and from the front as well. They disregarded us both and dragged the girl out. of the house. We both followed. They followed the river to the tree I had seen before. I now remembered why it was familiar. They tied a rope around the tree and hung the girl. I watched as she breathed her last breath.

We both ran for all our might. I understood now the horror that was once my home. He followed me to the hills as I ran, screaming and crying the whole way. I would not stop running until I forgot, until I knew nothing but the hills. I returned to the lonely existence. There I looked upon the man one last time, I knew the pain that awaited him, awaited me. I remembered it well now.

I left him there, having no pity on myself. I returned to the heart of the forest again, seeking answers. There I sat on the log again waiting for the king. He returned as he always did. Once he was ready he bade me forward, “Why did you send me there? There to see the sin I once committed” The king paused, “My friend, that is your eternal destiny. It is the curse you received that day. You did not have to condemn your daughter to death that day, I gave you the power to let her go.” That knowledge pained me more then anything before had. “You intended me to let her go? But how could I have, I surely would have died at the hands of the mob as well had I done so.” He looked directly into my eyes, “Yes you would have, but you would not be here in the hills had you done so. You would be somewhere much better.” I sobbed.

He sat there looking at me for a few minutes. “Now, I must return to my business. I will see you again soon.” I rose and began to walk away. “See you again? Why will you see me again?” He looked at me and said it again, “How easily you forget my friend. You will wander these hills until you forget your sin, but something will remind you of it and then you will come to me for answers, and you will relive your memory in all it’s horror again, until you forget and relive it again. I have sent you to your home many many times over the years, and always you forget and come back to me for answers once you do. It is the punishment for your sin.”

I stared in disbelief, I knew what he was saying was true. It sank into my heart like a heavy weight. I began to walk away and he spoke again, “My only hope is that you will forget quickly and remember slowly.” He turned back towards his guards.

I ran from the heart of the forest, and ran and ran. I did not know where I was going, only that I must run until all the pain was gone, and eventually it was. It had been so long since I had spoke to the king, I didn’t even remember what it was we spoke of. Then one day I saw a traveler on the road, he was wearing a dark cloak and had a raspy voice. This seemed familiar to me for some reason, though I could not remember why. I decided to find the king and see if he might be able to help me remember.